No, I would not be more comfortable in the bathroom

Sunday morning my husband Andrew, my youngest daughter Andi and Avery, my 4 month old son were sitting with me in the local UUC. Around 10:30 Avery began to get sleepy and wanted to nurse as he does about every morning around this time. My husband is quite used to me nursing the baby in public and thinks nothing of it normally, which is why his reaction surprised me and bothered me a little as well.

While I nursed Avery, he made all of the wonderful sounds babies often make. He gulped hard, moaned, hummed, threw his arm in the air, pulled my shirt...all the things that we normally laugh about how cute and sweet it is when he does it. However, I noticed my husband glancing around uncomfortably in fear that it was making OTHERS uncomfortable.

Why are we so focused on how others may be feeling? Further more, when are people going to start realizing that my baby is SUPPOSED to enjoy being at the breast. I hear people say things like "I don't see a problem with a woman breastfeeding in public if you can't tell what she is doing." Do you ask the girl shaking a bottle violently in the air, and testing the temperature on her arm in front of everyone to stop drawing attention to herself?

I wish this country could see things for what they were meant to be. I destroyed my milk supply with my youngest daughter because of my fear of making someone uncomfortable. Those 15 months were hell, and they should have been the greatest. I didn't go out, I dreaded family dinners, I didn't welcome company with open arms and when she was hungry I did all I could to rush people out the door. But why? Why is giving life to my child the way I was designed to considered dirty?

With my son, I feel so free now that I KNOW my legal rights, and I couldn't care less if others are bothered. Well, that's not true. It breaks my heart that people feel the way they do. Sitting in church was a major wake up call when I saw discomfort in the eyes of my husband while his baby was comforted. Many of us, myself included, have come a long way but there is still a long way to go. I hope one day my daughters will sit without embarrassment at family cookouts and feed their young the way they were meant to. I hope my son will sit proudly beside his wife while his son or daughter nurses from her body. And I hope that no matter where they are, those around them will never try to make them feel ashamed.