Watch and Learn

Watch and Learn is a phrase I have on our "record keeping" program. It is Andi's favorite thing to say, and I try to keep that phrase in mind when raising my daughters now. When Andi told me she was ready to ride her bike without training wheels, even though I tried to tell her she wasn't, she tried one time and rode for a second before losing balance, then she tried again and succeeded. When she showed us she could go faster, or turn, or use her brakes she would always say "Watch and learn guys". Yes. Watch and learn. So simple. Watch your children, and learn what makes them happy. Let your children WATCH you, and learn by example. This is what parenting is about, but I strayed from that.

Years ago, when I met my husband we talked about our views on education, and how we both firmly believed that children were meant to explore, experience, and ENJOY life. We believed that kids should not spend their days stuck in a school desk hoping the teacher doesn't call on them to solve a problem on the board, knowing that it would leave them feeling humiliated in front of all their class mates. We believed that as adults, we have the freedom to search for job options that free us from long, boring, monotonous, purposeless days that leave us feeling unsatisfied and unfulfilled, and instead we seek jobs that fit our lifestyle and personality so we can leave feeling fulfilled. If adults exercise that freedom, why do we teach our kids that those long monotonous days are simply to prepare them for life? Why do we always feel that negative exposure prepares our children for "The real world"? Well, somewhere in the midst of worrying about record keeping, hour requirements for the state of wisconsin, and proving to others that home school wasn't the wrong choice for my family we forgot about those questions we originally posed.

We schooled at home. The parts that were good, were the moments that I followed my instincts and did NOT school at home, but mostly it was a struggle for the entire family. Not because Ashlyn had trouble learning. Not because I don't have patience to home school. Not because I was pregnant, and not because my kids needed to take me seriously as a teacher.

I won't revisit what our days were, but I will say the girls began to ask with dread in their tone "Is today a school day?" School day? We weren't supposed to have "school days"! How did this happen? It took a lot of late night conversations between hubby and myself for us to come to terms that we were having trouble unschooling the girls because we havn't unschooled ourselves(as I think mentioned in a book that I'd love to read.) For me though, it was mostly about state laws and proving to others that I am capable of home schooling my children. I didn't have much support, and perhaps a lot of it is because I have a GED, not a diploma, and I am able to admit that I struggle a lot with math. If I struggle with algebra, how can I teach it to my kids? I also had a wake up call when I took a math class a little more advanced than what I was prepared for at UWEC, which was a summer course, and very fast paced. It became my goal to make sure ashlyn doesn't have the troubles with math that I had growing up. Now it's clear, and I hope the damage isn't unrepairable. I didn't struggle with math because of lack of exposure. I struggled with math because my earlier exposures of math were bad experiences. I, as most children, was expected to spend hours attempting to memorize answers until the big test at the end of the week. When you remember something by attempting to force your brain to remember it, you are not likely to understand it enough to continue building on it, and have a great chance of forgetting later.

Our children deserve more respect. A child naturally retains information more quickly than an adult, without flash cards, or tests or any other repetitive exercises. A baby doesn't learn to talk by force, but on its own time.

Having said this, the public school year is nearing, and I thought at this time I would be a nervous wreck getting school lessons planned, and anticipated stress for september. Instead, we have spent the month of August all getting used to what we originally planned before Ashlyn became "school age"; something kids do naturally, but adults often forget how-LIVE LIFE.